COULD BE WORSE

As much as I may grumble about boat people, every day I thank God above that our land—girt by the sea—is provided with a natural barrier to thwart bludgers, layabouts, and shiftless Elk that would otherwise swarm our country to suckle the public teat dry. I can only imagine how bad it would be living on one of the other continents, especially ones that are notorious for having porous borders granting free passage to all manner of undesirables.

For example, take this recent story of an undocumented immigrant who stowed away on a railway car:

An adventurous ferret was recently found in Edinburgh after taking the train all the way from London. The ferret, who has been dubbed Mickey, was spotted by staff at Haymarket train station in the Scottish capital at 7pm on Monday and was handed to animal welfare charity the SPCA, which is looking to reunite the creature with its owner.

If you ask me, the Scottish authorities have been too soft on him. All you have to do is bat your eyelashes and pretend to be lost and suddenly it's all soft beds and hot meals?

"Mickey is very friendly, suggesting he is a pet."

Rubbish! Of course he's friendly! You've given him an all-access pass to your social assistance programmes. It's only a matter of time before he signs up for the dole and raises a family of little pickpockets.

So, thank God we don't have to deal with train people, and thanks to @danaminter for bringing this story to my attention.