DECEIT

Sightseeing. There's no such thing as an "alligator snapping turtle," just a reptile that won't make up its mind. #WallabyRescueless than a minute ago via HootSuite Favorite Retweet ReplyRacist Wallaby
RacistWallaby

That's my son's favorite turtle, he wants to know if they can be trained..sick 'em.. damn, too late.
less than a minute ago via web Favorite Retweet ReplyCathastrophe
Cathastrophe

Oh, you want to know if they can be trained?

Well, I'll tell you that they've trained themselves to rush to the mailbox. There's nothing faster than a turtle zooming out to see if the post has brought his latest government assistance cheque.

The whole idea of turtles being slow-moving is rubbish. It's a rumour they started so that they aren't expected to hold a steady job! Instead, they get make-work assignments handed to them by employers looking to meet their diversity quotas.

Ask a turtle to do any sort of task for you, and they'll do it as slowly as possible just to make sure you don't ask him a second time.

Don't let them get away with it! I've seen them having footraces, dancing the hustle, and even playing tennis when they're off the clock and they think no one's looking. The only way we can get this sort of nonsense to stop is to hold them accountable.