Sunday, May 23, 2010


Fluffy Glider please, Paul Hogan hasn't been relevant for decades. #IThinkIGotAwayWithItless than a minute ago via HootSuite

I am sick of this double standard that won't let me call a sugar glider a sugar glider. "Sugar Glider" means "lazy, uneducated marsupial," and it's not my fault if some other people used it in the furtherance of intolerance and bigotry.

They call each other sugar gliders all the time. Why is it that I'm suddenly a racist if I call them that? It just makes me so mad sometimes. I guess I've just got to look for acceptable alternatives.

Friday, May 14, 2010


The news never mentions the race of suspects in their crime reporting, but I know they're talking about Crocodiles. #youknowitstrueless than a minute ago via HootSuite

Why do the news shows have to be so timid? We all know that Crocodiles were responsible. Can't you just come right out and say it?

Friday, May 7, 2010


I got passed over for promotion in favor of another Platypus. Stinking affirmative action. #unfair #entitlement #bollocksless than a minute ago via HootSuite

Oh god, the less said about last night, the better. I didn't want to go out with my coworkers to celebrate Bruce's promtion, and it all went downhill from there.

It's the last time I ever set foot in a Fur Seal bar, I can tell you.

And I don't know who "Lenny" is, but I'm certain I wouldn't have become that familiar with an Emu in just one night. He must be mistaking me for someone else.

Those photos do look like me, though. Maybe they were photoshopped?

Monday, May 3, 2010


Yes, I rang the police. When you see a Wombat carrying posh electronics around, who wouldn't think they were stolen? #understandablemistakeless than a minute ago via web

Look, I didn't know that Steve was new to the neighbourhood. I'm sure that in time, he'll come to appreciate the fact that I'm only looking out for his best interests as a resident.