Saturday, January 8, 2011


Nominate @RacistWallaby in the Shorty Awards!

It's time to find out whether an humble Wallaby can have a fair go at winning an award, or whether my nomination for the Third Annual Shorty Awards is a mere fig leaf designed to shield the mainstream media from accusations of anti-Wallaby bias.

You can help by re-tweeting my nomination. Do it now!

But if you're really serious about telling wombats to go jump, you can do more.

It turns out that all votes are not created equal.

  • Your nomination is only counted once

  • A retweet carries less weight than an original entry

  • A nomination without a reason does not get counted

The good news is that it's never too late to replace a crap nomination with a better one, so even if you went off and nominated me before coming here you can still tweet a nomination that gives a reason, which carries more weight.

Now, rather than expect you to come up with your own reasons, making unreasonable demands of you like some kind of Bandicoot houseguest in the third week of his four-day visit, I've assembled this list of reasons that you can use. Feel free to copy and paste them into your nominations on Twitter or at the Shorty Awards Website if you don't feel like coming up with one on your own.

[UPDATE: I'm going to update this list as the various reasons are used on twitter.]

"I nominate @RacistWallaby for a Shorty Award in #weird because:

  • because he's handsome.

  • because he's witty.

  • because he's charming.

  • because I copied this text from his blog.
    (Thanks, @puggle01!)

  • because Brolgas are stupid as sure as the sun rises in the east.
    (Thanks, @OchoTeddy!)

  • because it's time Kangaroos stopped getting all the breaks.
    (Thanks, @Miss_Shiny!)

  • because the police are too soft on Bandicoot crime.
    (Thanks, @DazedPuckBunny!)

  • because Box Jellyfish need to learn what it means to do an honest day's work!

  • because Wombats on the dole are ruining things for everyone.

  • because you'll never catch a Platypus sober.

  • because Wallabies are better-looking than Monotremes.
    (Thanks, @brappy!)

  • because I'm tired of Emus bringing down my property values.
    (Thanks, @BaffleGabble!)

  • because unwed possum mothers are RUINING THE COUNTRY!

  • because that Bilby looked like he was going to rob the place! #honestmistake.
    (Thanks, @WallofJackson!)

  • because a Fairy Penguin can't hold down a steady job.

  • because Koalas in the classroom only slow the pace of learning for the rest of the children.

  • because he got passed over for promotion in favor of another Yabby.(Thanks, @Wombat1974!)

  • because Sperm Whales are good for nothing more than manual labor and organised sports.

  • because if Potoroos cared about survival, they’d get jobs and contribute to society.(Thanks, @38degreesouth!)

  • because Numbats just can't take a joke.
    (Thanks, @bethspen!)

  • because Dingos can't be trusted with money.
    (Thanks, @typingmonkey!)

  • because Dingos can't be trusted with children.

  • because Dingos can't be trusted.

So, please go to Twitter or the Shorty Awards Website and submit your nomination.

With your help, we can keep the llamas from winning.

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