WORSE THAN YOU THINK

My phone autocorrects #qanda to #panda - is qanda secretly an immigrant?less than a minute ago via Echofon Favorite Retweet ReplyCameron Patrick
cameronpat

The problem you've observed isn't related to immigration, but it does relate to national security.

People use the #qanda tag to discuss vital governmental matters.

Smartphones are assembled in China.

What demographic is most densely concentrated in China, and would give their weight in bamboo for a chance to listen in on honest Australians trying to discuss important policy decisions?

That's right, Pandas.

So be careful what you say on unsecured channels; you never know who's listening in.

CALLING THE SHOTS

See also: Cults. Those researchers look a lot like Patty Hearst to me. #Stockholm @mcckate http://ow.ly/3kQoIless than a minute ago via HootSuiteRacist Wallaby
RacistWallaby

I'm not going to say that Pandas are running the Wolong conservation centre as some kind of mind control cult, because that would be irresponsible rumour mongering.

What I am saying is that one of my mates knows a fella who took a job there, and he hasn't been allowed to leave.

They lured him there with the promises of a high salary and the chance to do important conservation work, and now they're controlling what he eats, when he can sleep, and what he wears.

Compare these two photos:















Again, I'm not saying anything outright, I just think the similarities between those suit-wearing researchers and a gun-toting Patty Hearst are noteworthy.

"Oh," I hear you saying, "but Pandas are cute, and cuddly, and couldn't possibly be involved in anything sinister!"

To that I say, "You don't know Pandas very well, do you?"

FLIMSY EXCUSES

[Top Story] Climate Change Blurring Definition of Native Species: As climate change alters ecosystems, scientists ... http://bit.ly/cAHD6Bless than a minute ago via twitterfeedWired Magazine
wiredmag

Freeloading squatters are using "Climate Change" as a handy excuse to laze about where they're not wanted, more like!

None of us are very happy with climate change. We're all dealing with uncomfortable temperatures and freak storms, but I'm not trying to move into their backyard, so these other species should stay the bloody hell out of mine.

And before you accuse me of being close-minded or selfish, I'd like to point out that Wired agrees with me completely:

"Each new immigrant has the potential to radically change the neighborhood — welcoming an influx of new predators and parasites, altering soil nutrients and porosity, even changing the amount of moisture and sunlight that reaches ground dwellers."_{(Slight emphasis added)}

Now, I can see where some of the Kookaburras in my neighbourhood acting like total slobs might give some people a false impression, but the fact is that we aren't looking for any newcomers, especially when they won't respect the character of the place we've worked so hard to develop.

The last thing we need is an influx of Bison with their gang violence, Pandas and their drug culture, or Polar Bears and their reckless, inattentive driving. I'm sure @Ern Malley's Cat will agree with me when I say emphatically:

"Shove off and find someplace else. We were here first."

I AM TIRED OF THEIR GRAFFITI

That just leaves more of them to spraypaint tags on overpasses RT @JerryThomas I help the environment by eating only one panda per day.less than a minute ago via webRacist Wallaby
RacistWallaby

It's a question of priorities, really. Sure, it sounds environmentally friendly, until you realize that he's not going to make up for it by spending more time erasing their bloody tags from every blank surface within spraying distance.