Saturday, February 5, 2011


Went looking for news about Wallabies, but all I could find was sport stories. Obviously they never do any real workless than a minute ago via TweetDeck

Obviously Wombats don't know how to use Boolean operators in their search terms. (That's right, I WENT THERE.)

Using a simple minus sign to include terms like "-rugby" and "-scrum" reveals that Wallabies are making headlines around the world for their revolutionary breakthroughs in agriculture, commerce, and pharmacology.

I saw a poster saying Wallabys were just dwarf kangaroos. Roos whose growth was stunted by smoking cigarettes as joeys!less than a minute ago via TwitBird

This is just plain rubbish. Everyone knows that smoking doesn't stunt your growth. I myself enjoy Winfields quite frequently with no adverse effects.

If anything, Kangaroos are the results of unethical Wallaby athletes (sadly, they do exist; the proverbial bad apples ruining it for everyone) abusing bovine growth hormone and giving birth to freakishly large, mutant offspring.

It pains me to admit it, but even Wallabies can be seduced into misbehaviour by the overpowering lure of Olympic gold medals.

HA! Your criminal nature finally exposed. A queue jumper in NZ. It's the hungi for you #macromealsless than a minute ago via web

I've already explained what's going on. There are no feral Wallabies in New Zealand — it's a myth. (Yes, I do have some relatives out near Rotorua, but they're well respected, naturalised citizens, and productive members of their community.)

This is clearly a "protection" racket. These dogs are charging exorbitant fees to bludge about and pretend to search for something that isn't there, like that joke from The Simpsons about selling a rock that keeps tigers away.

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