AGREE TO DISAGREE

Imagine my surprise when I saw this on Twitter:

"WA values its honest Kangaroos, Emus and Echidnas. Not so the stunted deformed Wallabies." -@archiearchive

Accompanied by the following photograph:

It's an interesting interpretation, certainly, but it's dead wrong.

The fact is that WA recognises that motorists only need to be warned to watch out for animals stupid enough to blunder into a moving vehicle. The wallaby omission is only recognising their superior intelligence.

THE USUAL CULPRITS

When I read about violent assaults and attempted home invasions, I'm never surprised to see that a Kangaroo's behind it all. That's why I found recent reports of a Kangaroo beating an elderly pensioner to be sad but not unexpected.

These attacks are only going to stop when the public realises the true scope of the Kangaroo menace. In the meantime, there are three things you can do personally to keep safe from attack:

• Be suspicious of any Kangaroo who claims to have a job. It turns out that in this latest attack, the Kangaroo posed as an employee of the electric company and got the homeowner to let her guard down by claiming that he had come to read the meter. 
• Never buy magazine subscriptions from Kangaroos. Once you give money to one of them, their whole bloody gossip network spreads the word that you're a soft touch. Buy magazines from one of them today and you'll see them queuing up tomorrow to sell you more magazines, along with wrapping paper, cookies, and all manner of unwanted junk.
• Never give money to Kangaroos for any reason. One of my mates, who was ignorant of the first two rules, got taken to the cleaners by some Kangaroo builders who promised him a new roof. All they wanted was some cash up front for "supplies." Needless to say, they took off with the money and now he's out several hundred dollars and still needs a new roof.

And while we're on the subject of rubbish freeloaders who refuse to work for a living, did you see how Phyllis Johnson, the victim, was left in the lurch by what should have been "man's best friend"? From the article:

"Not even the dog would help, it was too frightened."

Frightened, my tail! He was probably hoping the Kangaroo finished her off so he could loot the house and nick her jewellery. Don't trust Kangaroos, and don't expect a dog to have your back in a tight spot.

TOLERABLE

@RacistWallaby So what is the race that you can tolerate the most? Who causes you the least consternation?less than a minute ago via web Favorite Retweet ReplyDavid Houghton
turb05

Wallabies, obviously.

Of course, you might hear a load of rubbish from some people who would suggest that I have an unhealthy fascination with Kangaroos, but it's a complete fabrication.

I think it's a misunderstanding based on one time last year when my account was hacked. I certainly don't visit Kangaroo-themed websites or place personals ads in the newspapers looking for anonymous Kangaroo hookups.

I don't do anything like that at all.

HA HA HA

@RacistWallaby wow, strange picture. It makes you look like a red kangaroo! I thought you'd be trying to distance yourself from them. )less than a minute ago via web Favorite Retweet ReplyJKRLMazur
JKRLMazur

I'm quite certain I have no idea what you're talking about.

My avatar is now, and has always been, a pleasing shade of grey commonly associated with wallaby fur, the cooled ashes of last night's campfire, and rational thought.

My avatar is not now—and has never been—any other colour that could possibly be confused with that of a Red Kangaroo.

And I would certainly never be involved in anything that could be misconstrued as trolling for steamy, lurid, and anonymous Kangaroo sex.

Unless it's a joke? Yes, that must be it.

HA HA HA. GOOD ONE, MATE! WOULDN'T THAT BE A LAUGH? ME, LOOKING LIKE A KANGAROO!

INDISTIGUISHABLE

Generally, I don't follow developments in the wine world — I'm not one of those Pademelon wine snobs who fusses over the cork — but I'm troubled by allegations raised in some row between U.S. and Australian wine companies:

The Wine Group of San Francisco caused uproar by releasing a Little Roo label which is strikingly similar to Casella Wines' Yellow Tail, featuring a wallaby. [...] Wallabies, Casella Wines contends, are "indistinguishable to most people" from kangaroos.

Indistinguishable?

What's not to distinguish? The Wallaby's regal bearing? Its grace? Its regard for personal hygiene? (To be an accurate representation, I would imagine that the Kangaroo picture is accompanied by a cloud of buzzing flies, and possibly a few stench lines to drive the point home.)

Do you honestly expect me to believe that people can't tell that — unlike the Kangaroo — the Wallaby is NOT hopping out of the gutter on his way to the bottle shop for another day of drinking away his government assistance cheque?

It's the simplest thing in the world to tell the two creatures apart. One is a quiet, respectful marsupial, and the other resorts to violence at the first opportunity.

I don't know which I would find more offensive, that Casella is assuming that the public at large is as ignorant and inattentive to detail as they are, or that the general public could harbour such a shameful lack of awareness.

PACK OF LIES

Bah! The flood story is shameless Dove propaganda RT @firstdogonmoon may 21 is 7000 years since the noah's ark thingless than a minute ago via HootSuiteRacist Wallaby
RacistWallaby

@RacistWallaby @firstdogonmoon Shameless dove scum. They are still spreading olives in the Adelaide hills too.less than a minute ago via webOwen Gale
OwentheWorld

@RacistWallaby That was nice of you to capitalize the "d" in dove. Secretly, do you like doves?less than a minute ago via webLimes Not Lemons
LimesNotLemons

Putting aside the debate over whether or not the events described in the bible actually happened, I think we can safely single out the flood and the story of Noah's Ark as highly suspect.

Do you expect me to believe that you could put two of every kind of animal on a boat for 40 days and 40 nights and have anything other than a royal mess by the end of it?

• Everyone would start to notice an epidemic of petty thefts by the second day, although they wouldn't know to blame the Quolls until the following week.



• On day six, the Dingos would be rail-thin and shaking as they went into heroin withdrawal.



• Two weeks in, there would be a colossal row as the Ostrich, Kookaburra, and Echidna ladies were found to be laying suspiciously Bandicoot-shaped eggs.



• The Sea Lion would need to be given a series of progressively more stern talkings-to each time he was caught spying in the public toilets.



• Potoroos would quickly set up a still in one of the cargo holds, which would have to be shut down after inadvertently poisoning half the crew.



• On the subject of the ship's crew, the Wombats and Kangaroos would be asked to pitch in and man the rigging, only to quit an hour into their shift, complaining of assorted back problems and demanding disability payments for sustaining injuries in the line of duty.



• And don't even get me started on the filth in which the Platypus couple would be living. By the end of the trip, their quarters would be positively squalid.

And who was responsible for this pack of lies masquerading as a feel-good story about interspecies cooperation? The same feathered vermin that portray themselves as the great heroes of the story, delivering word of dry land at the end of the ordeal. The Doves.

The whole thing was probably an elaborate ruse that they cooked up so they could sell timeshares on any one of the vast number of spots described as the "final" resting place of the ark.

Don't trust Doves. I never have, and I never will.

CLARITY

Went looking for news about Wallabies, but all I could find was sport stories. Obviously they never do any real workless than a minute ago via TweetDeckAndrew Callaghan
wombat1974

Obviously Wombats don't know how to use Boolean operators in their search terms. (That's right, I WENT THERE.)

Using a simple minus sign to include terms like "-rugby" and "-scrum" reveals that Wallabies are making headlines around the world for their revolutionary breakthroughs in agriculture, commerce, and pharmacology.

I saw a poster saying Wallabys were just dwarf kangaroos. Roos whose growth was stunted by smoking cigarettes as joeys!less than a minute ago via TwitBirdCatherine Stephenson
flowermonkey

This is just plain rubbish. Everyone knows that smoking doesn't stunt your growth. I myself enjoy Winfields quite frequently with no adverse effects.

If anything, Kangaroos are the results of unethical Wallaby athletes (sadly, they do exist; the proverbial bad apples ruining it for everyone) abusing bovine growth hormone and giving birth to freakishly large, mutant offspring.

It pains me to admit it, but even Wallabies can be seduced into misbehaviour by the overpowering lure of Olympic gold medals.

HA! http://ow.ly/3Pzqo Your criminal nature finally exposed. A queue jumper in NZ. It's the hungi for you #macromealsless than a minute ago via webpaddy bts
paddybts

I've already explained what's going on. There are no feral Wallabies in New Zealand — it's a myth. (Yes, I do have some relatives out near Rotorua, but they're well respected, naturalised citizens, and productive members of their community.)

This is clearly a "protection" racket. These dogs are charging exorbitant fees to bludge about and pretend to search for something that isn't there, like that joke from The Simpsons about selling a rock that keeps tigers away.

NOT GUILTY

Fred Nile has blamed #TCYasi and the Qld floods on the number of gay wallabies in Australia.less than a minute ago via webarchiearchive
archiearchive

Well, I certainly don't know anything about it!

I'm not sure what you've heard, but I am sick and tired of addressing these rumours.

Last Wednesday my friends Esteban, Francois, and Eduardo came over to help me move my couch. That's why there was so much grunting and heavy breathing.

And on Friday, I was doing all that moaning because I had an upset stomach after eating some bad spinach. My friend Rinaldo came over because he heard that I was unwell.

I really think it's deplorable the way some people will take the kindness of a concerned Wallaby and twist it into sordid rumours and innuendoes.

If anything, it was probably those Kangaroos. You know how they carry on in public toilets!

THE REAL RACIST

You really should nominate me for a Shorty award in the #weird category. I even went to the trouble of filling out their invasive and time-consuming interview. Even if you don't nominate me, it's worth a read over at their website.

Oh, who are we kidding? They'll probably leave my answers up for about an hour before some Echidna on the PC squad goes and takes them down for being "inappropriate." I'm better off reprinting the whole thing here. Just try not to read it if you're a thin-skinned Platypus or an Emu looking for an excuse to get offended.

What's your best tweet?
Accusing me of perpetuating stereotypes is rubbish! All I'm saying is that Emus are lazy, untrustworthy, and drug-addicted. #TruthHurts

What are six things you could never do without?
Goodness, some of these questions are quite personal. No, you may NOT examine my hard drive for wet Kangaroo pics! Sorry, I meant to say that I probably couldn't live without a high-speed internet connection.

How do you use Twitter in your professional life?
Well, I got my boss fired by pretending to be an underage Koala on Twitter and then distributing copies of the lewd DMs he sent to me. Does that count?

What's your favorite Twitter app?
Twitpic, obviously. It's a great way to warn people about unsavoury characters (read: Wombats) lurking about the neighbourhood.

Twitter or Facebook?
Twitter, definitely. Facebook offers entirely too many opportunities for attention-seeking Dingoes to engage in the wrong sort of behaviour.

What was the funniest trend you've seen?
Remember when Pademelons thought that wearing Ugg boots everywhere was the height of fashion? All right, most of them are still doing it, but you have to admit that they look ridiculous.

What feature should Twitter add?
Improved screening measures to keep Potoroos from opening duplicate spam accounts to coordinate their attacks on family values. They may think they're oh-so clever, using song lyrics as code, but I'm on to them!

Who do you wish had a Twitter feed but doesn't?
Sean Wallaby, Marsupial Twain, or Paul Hogan.

What are some words or phrases you refuse to shorten for brevity?
Vermin. Bludgers. Wastrels who spend all day lounging about on the dole. SOUND FAMILIAR, BANDICOOTS?

Is there someone you want to follow you who doesn't already? If so, who?
Britney Spears. I DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN MYSELF TO YOU.

Have you ever unfollowed someone? Who and why?
I unfollowed that squirrel apologist, Malcolm Turnbull (@TurnbullMalcolm) after his craven reversal of earlier statements.

Why should we vote for you?
Because if you don't vote for me, the Llamas win.

Terms you wish would start trending on Twitter right now?
Pademelon Arrest, Platypus Registration Act, Cane Toad Deportation

What's the most interesting connection you've made through Twitter?
Well, I did engage in a dialogue with Malcolm Turnbull, Federal Member for Wentworth. Until he broke my heart.

Hashtag you created that you wish everyone used?
#LaCowsaNostra - useful for tracking the sinister dealings of the bovine mafia.

How do you make your tweets unique?
Sadly, I don't. It's all-too-common knowledge that Echidnas are drunks, Dingos will rob you blind, and Koalas are drug-addled bludgers. I just make sure that no one forgets it.

What inspires you to tweet?
A desire to see fair Wallaby representation in the media, and a solid mistrust of Wombats.

Ever get called out for tweeting too much?
Heavens, no! What do you think I am, some kind of Kangaroo?

140 characters of advice for a new user?
Kangaroos need not apply. No Pademelons, either, and Koalas can just shove off.

How long can you go without a tweet?
Quite a long time, actually. Everything you've heard about Wallabies and their stamina? All true.

What question are we not asking here that we should?
What can be done about the moral threat that Emus pose to society?

How do you imagine Twitter changing?
I fear it's only a matter of time before it's found by the wrong sort of people. Once it gets infested with Emu get-rich-quick schemes and Platypus toilet humour, it'll be all downhill from there.

Who do you admire most for his or her use of Twitter?
Julia Gillard (@JuliaGillard). You can tell she wants to give those crocodiles a good telling off, but she restrains herself admirably.

Who is the funniest person on Twitter that you follow?
Al Gore (@algore).

What is one of the biggest misconceptions of Twitter?
That there are any sort of barriers to entry. The place is crawling with half-literate Dingos and their abominable textspeak abbreviations.

Why should people follow you?
Because otherwise they might fall prey to the next fast-talking Platypus with a bridge to sell them.

Can you name some one-of-a-kind Twitter accounts that you follow?
@Firstdogonmoon, @whistlingduck, and @KayaktheGibbon. I can't understand how people accuse me of being racist when I have so many non-Wallaby friends.

How do you decide what to tweet?
I look at the top news stories of the day to see what people are talking about. Then I make sure they know what's REALLY going on behind the scenes, with the animals that they think are so cute and blameless.

Why'd you start tweeting?
I had seen one too many unwed Echidna mothers spending their government assistance cheques on big-screen televisions and new trainers.

Has Twitter changed your life? If yes, how?
I'm saving money now that I no longer have to publish a print newsletter, which means I can subscribe to some of my favourite periodicals like "Kangaroo Heat" and "Pouch Confidential." Wait, forget I said that last bit.

What do you wish people would do more of on Twitter?
I wish they'd be more willing to listen to the truth, instead of drowning it out with accusations of "racism" and "bigotry." I'm just being honest.

How will the world change in the next year?
Sadly, I don't think it will change much unless people wake up and do something about the unwed Possum mothers, reckless Emu drivers, and rude Bilby queue-jumpers that undermine the very fabric of our society on a daily basis. Where is the outrage?

What are some big Twitter faux pas?
Insulting Dugongs, apparently. (Even when it's TRUE!)

What will the world be like 10 years from now?
10 years from now, Cane Toads will have bred us almost completely out of existence, which is why we should embark on a state-sponsored sterilisation programme to rid ourselves of them and other undesirables.

Seriously, though, please do nominate me for a Shorty award in the #weird category. I promise I'm only going to mention it once more this month, and your help is greatly appreciated.

CONFRONTATION

Confrontation is the key to keeping things in order!(Remember) You can't fix what you wont confrontless than a minute ago via Mobile WebRev Run
RevRunWisdom

On the face of it, I agree with this idea. It certainly would do a world of good if Koalas were willing to confront the fact that they are never going to make an honest living until they put down the eucalyptus and do some real work for a change.

The problem is that there are some situations in which confrontation is ill-advised. For example, I grew tired of the mountains of discarded Westerfields and shoals of broken Mayfair bottles that had become an eyesore and a public health hazard in my neighbourhood, and confronted the Kangaroos responsible.

The results were less than productive. I'm still too traumatised to go into specifics, but @Brappy found this video that shows you just how readily those brutes will resort to violence:



So, I'd agree completely with @RevRunWisdom if he amends his statement to read:

"Confrontation is the key to keeping things in order! Unless you're dealing with Kangaroos, Wombats, Bandicoots, or other thugs who disdain common courtesy and refuse to listen to anyone they can intimidate."

However, I recognize that Twitter makes it impossible to squeeze that many characters into a post.

REGRETTABLE MISTAKE

@RacistWallaby My mother lived with a bandicoot while I was a child. No one cares! #ozcot #tcotless than a minute ago via webarchiearchive
archiearchive

Your "anything goes" attitude is undermining the MORAL FABRIC OF SOCIETY!less than a minute ago via HootSuiteRacist Wallaby
RacistWallaby

Even you don't care - pick on the victim! sobless than a minute ago via webarchiearchive
archiearchive

It takes a big Wallaby to admit when he's wrong, but if I didn't own up to my mistake I'd be no better than those stinking Kangaroos. (Don't get me started on them, with their haughty expressions and the smug way they lift their tails when they hop!) No, this is about a young man who was grievously wronged by the system, and my callous indifference toward his suffering.

I thought Archie's original post was written in the spirit of so many drugged-out Koalas, telling me to "cool down" and "relax" because in this "enlightened" day and age, "no one cares." In the face of that kind of overly permissive rubbish, demanding that I turn a blind eye to society's decay, my understandable response was to call him out on his faulty logic its Echidna-minded moral relativism.

However, Archie's clarification has revealed that it was actually a plea for help, and a lamentation of the fact that his suffering has gone unacknowledged for so long. The last thing he needed was someone kicking him while he was down.

In light of this information, I would like to apologize to Archie, and I hope that we can put this misunderstanding behind us in order to raise awareness of the shameful parenting practises of modern Bandicoots.

IN NUMBERS

Platypi, Platypodes, Platypuses? Rubbish! The plural form of "Platypus" is "VERMIN" #Factless than a minute ago via HootSuiteRacist Wallaby
RacistWallaby

Some people still seem a little confused about the plural forms and mass nouns used with certain animals. But it's quite simple, really. Here's a brief list:

(Singular)
(Plural/variant)
(Mass Noun)

Bandicoot
Bandicoots
A Rubbish of Bandicoots

Dingo
Dingoes/Dingos
A Crack Den of Dingoes

Echidna
Pederasts
A Gang of Pederasts

Kangaroo
Kangaroos
A Smuggling Ring of Kangaroos

Koala
Koalas
A Mob of Croc-Wearing, Doped-Up Koalas out Looking for Trouble*
_{*N.B., phrase may be abbreviated to "filth" when necessary.}

Numbat
Numbats
A Mafia of Numbats

Pademelon
Pademelons
A Mistake of Pademelons

Platypus
Vermin
A Pack of Vermin

Possum
Possums
A Crime Wave of Possums

Wallaby
Wallabies/Wallabys
A Salvation of Wallabies

Wombat
Wombats
A Dole of Wombats

Any questions?

POPULARITY

Bought a deodorant stick. The instructions said to remove top and push up bottom. Can't walk very well but my farts smell lovely!less than a minute ago via Twitter for iPhoneJohn Gallagher
fulhamgagsy

You know you've made it big time when your tweet gets recycled again

I bought a deodorant stick today, the instructions said "remove top and push up bottom".

I can't walk very well but my farts smell nice.less than a minute ago via TwitBirdTyrell Beckham
tizforever

and again

I got a new stick deodorant today. The instructions said remove cap and push up bottom. I can hardly walk but my farts smell awesomeless than a minute ago via webDave Baldwin
dbalders

and again

I got a new stick deodorant today. The instructions said remove cap and push up bottom. I can hardly walk but my farts smell awesome.less than a minute ago via TweetDeckLee Searles
LJSearles

and again.

I got a new stick of deodorant today. The instructions said remove cap and push up bottom. I can hardly walk but my farts smell awesome...less than a minute ago via webMaxx Hendriks
maxxhendriks

I can't really tell why this idea is so popular. I mean, it's the kind of blatant disregard for personal hygiene shown by most Kookaburras, but it's also the crude toilet humor so beloved by Crocodiles. Ultimately, I'm wondering if it's just a bunch of Kangaroos who think they're being helpful by sharing personal grooming tips. At least it's a helpful list of accounts to block, I reckon. Did I miss anyone?

MISUNDERSTOOD

4 hours wasted in this public toilet without getting a single Kangaroo proposition #Disappointed #DoNotTweetThisless than a minute ago via HootSuiteRacist Wallaby
RacistWallaby

Before you rush to judgment, you should know the facts.

I've recently become involved in a new outreach programme that specialises in counselling at-risk kangaroos who are engaging in destructive behaviour. You can't find those sorts of troubled souls in churches and libraries, you have to engage them on their home turf.

That's what I was doing in that toilet, and what could be riskier or more self destructive than anonymous coupling with strangers on a Friday night?

That #DoNotTweetThis tag? Well, I don't like to brag about my good works, that's all. Mostly, I was disappointed that I wasn't able to make a positive difference in the world. I could have spent that time volunteering to feed crack-addicted Bandicoots or teaching unemployed Wombats how to read.

I suppose that we can be cheered by the fact that my mission of mercy was unsuccessful. It means that there are no sweaty, illicit goings-on in our public lavatories. That's right, the reports of sordid activity and frenzied orgies of firm bodies and supple tails have been wildly exaggerated. Don't go looking for passionate moaning, thrusting hips, and heavy panting in the throes of ecstasy at the public lavatory, because you won't find any!

So there's that, I reckon.

IRISH OUTRAGE

First, I'm in a state over the way that the Irish press favours lurid headlines over actual fact-based reporting, as is evident from their coverage of the "Wallaby Dies After Being Plied with Ecstasy and Drink at Birthday Disco" story:

"Orla Aungier, [Dublin Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals] DSPCA operations manager, said the marsupial was more likely a wallaby than a small kangaroo, because they are easier to buy in Ireland.

'At some point during the party, what we believe to be a wallaby was brought on to the dance floor and it was being handled as Skippy The Bush Kangaroo was played loud as the back track,' she said."

The whole thing is a tangled mess of allegations and scandal leaving me unsure of what to think, since all the Garda have to go on at the moment is some CCTV footage and a Facebook video—no body, and no evidence of drug abuse beyond some unidentified witness accounts that sound more like rumour. Although they have made great strides in eradicating racism in that country, it becomes a bit of a thorny problem when race is actually a relevant issue.

Maybe it was a Kangaroo after all. This kind of irresponsible carousing and drug-related overdosing is exactly what I'd expect from one of them.

What makes my blood run cold is the possibility that it was actually a Wallaby involved. Having a drink or two with your new marsupial friend is one thing, but manhandling him to the tune of "Skippy the Bush Kangaroo"? That's monstrous, and inhuman. That's the real issue here: not drugs, not alcohol, but the wilful and negligent emotional damage inflicted on this innocent Wallaby by deliberately drawing the comparison with a Kangaroo.

If this was indeed a Wallaby at the disco, I'm sure that everyone will agree with me when I say that the Garda need to use the video evidence in their possession to track down the responsible parties and prosecute them to the fullest extent of the law. Honestly, I'd turn a blind eye if they chose to take things a few metres beyond the law, if you follow me.

If it was a Kangaroo—well, this is the part where I'm supposed to say that we should pray it gets the kind of substance abuse intervention that it needs to become a productive member of society once again, but we all know that some of society's basest elements are beyond help.

AS SIMPLE AS A KANGAROO

#unheardcelebbooks “The Kangaroo Guide to Australia's Tax Code” by Paul Hoganless than a minute ago via webRacist Wallaby
RacistWallaby

You've never heard of the Kangaroo Guide series of books? They're written by idiots, for idiots. Kind of like the "... for Dummies" series, only they use more pictures and fewer big words.

I can't remember the entire list of topics at the moment, but they're designed to tackle some of the biggest issues facing 'Roos today, like the Kangaroo Guide to Cooking, the Kangaroo Guide to Driving, and the bestselling Kangaroo Guide to Breathing Without Choking on Your Own Tongue.

PLOTS

Dear ASIS, MI6, and CIA,

Something dodgy is going on. Go and search Twitter for the word "wallaby."

Notice something? There is always, always at least one "P. Sherman 42 Wallaby Way Sydney" tweet showing up in the results. And do you know why?

Terrorists.

I'm sure that smart lads such as yourselves can suss out what's happening here. It may be a line from some children's movie (that I didn't much care for), but it's being used as a way for terrorists to "ping" each other and coordinate their attacks. And I'm pretty sure those terrorists are Kangaroos.

Why? Jealousy.

Kangaroos have always been jealous of the way that Wallabies are widely known as the smarter, faster, more handsome infraclass, making their larger, slower Kangaroo cousins look like oafs by comparison. Associating our good name with their terror plot allows them to further their pro-Kangaroo agenda at the expense of our reputation.

The next step is obvious. Gentlemen, I'm calling for mass arrests, detainment, and the thorough interrogation of any Kangaroo who looks suspicious. Don't say you haven't been warned.

Sincerely,
RW

HAXORED

How do Kangaroos keep their fur so soft and silky smooth? #DoNotTweetThis #SecretDesireless than a minute ago via HootSuiteRacist Wallaby
RacistWallaby

I'm tired of people reading so much into a single tweet. This wasn't mine, I didn't type it, and somebody clearly hacked my Twitter account.

I'm a victim here!

IN THE NEWS

1 year on, I still don't believe these Wallaby crop circle reports. A Dunnart frame-up? http://ow.ly/1VQaA #stoner #verminless than a minute ago via webRacist Wallaby
RacistWallaby

Wallaby treatment in the media is so unfair. Take this example from last year. I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation for the story about Wallaby “crop circles”; maybe it was lads having a good time, or some Pademelons with a thyroid condition, or even a Kangaroo in a false moustache. But does anyone try to find out the truth of the matter? No.

Instead, the media fallout from the event made the government shift resources from the Wallabies that needed it most to give a bunch of bloody penguins some posh bodyguard treatment with trained snipers. One year on, and I’m still upset about how the whole mess was handled.