Monday, November 15, 2010

TEASE



Such a swirl of emotions surrounding this story: Elation, disappointment, resignation.

Like me, I'm sure you got very excited to hear that the justice system has finally decided to put a stop to the lawless hordes of rampaging cats that have held society hostage for too long.

That excitement quickly gives way to disappointment once you realize that it's not about cats who are serving sentences in prison, it's about cats who are keeping inmates company.

That's right, cats will continue to enjoy their immunity from criminal prosecution, but even if they did start getting equal treatment in the eyes of the law, would it really make a difference?

Science has proven that cats completely lack anything resembling empathy, and even the incarceration of their peers would not serve as a deterrent or "scare them straight." We would just be housing and feeding them at the taxpayer's expense (not that different from current arrangements, except the burden of upkeep is shifted from one individual to society as a whole).

No, there's only one way to deal with criminal felines.

Deportation.

4 comments:

archiearchive said...

There are other ways - but not everyone has access to a .303! Not that I recommend that method - it is hard on the eardrums.

ernmalleyscat said...

We are merely smuggling files in.

archiearchive said...

Some of my best friends are cats - - -

Racist Wallaby said...

@ernmalleyscat: See?! An open admission of criminal activity (smuggling). And yet the authorities give you carte blanche to operate your criminal syndicate.

@archiearchive: Your fraternization with criminal elements has been duly noted.