Thursday, April 14, 2011


Can someone who speaks deviant tell those #lolphins that no matter how much trouble they cause, we'll NEVER legalise dolphin marriage!less than a minute ago via HootSuite Favorite Retweet Reply

By now, you should have heard about the pod of Dolphins that briefly tried to stand in the way of progress, interrupting the scheduled demolition of the HMAS Adelaide by occupying the blast zone.

Breaking: Dolphins deliver demands as they halt sinking of Adelaide. Tell Sky News and ABC 24 "eee eee eee". Rudd called in to negotiate.less than a minute ago via web Favorite Retweet Reply

Their antics caused a lot of fear and confusion.

Daughter nervous about the dolphins & #HMASAdelaide. Remembers a Simpsons episode where dolphins take over the world. Could it be happening?less than a minute ago via web Favorite Retweet Reply

And some insightful criticism:

Those scuttling-delaying dolphins are just a bunch of NIMOs. #lolphins #HMASAdelaideless than a minute ago via web Favorite Retweet Reply

But looking back at the original story, one particular detail stands out:

Protesters attributed the presence of the dolphins to a local Aboriginal elder, Lila Kirby, who performed a whale calling ceremony on Sunday. Ms Kirby said the dolphins were making a statement.

Bloody right, they were making a statement! Dolphins never refuse an opportunity to "make a statement," with their ridiculous antics and shrill whistling about whatever politically correct rubbish has caught their fancy this week.

But look at that first sentence again. It was a whale calling ceremony. The Dolphins weren't even invited! Instead, they saw a bunch of bloody whales who were either completely fine with the idea of sinking the ship — or too lazy to do anything about it, which amounts to the same thing and is more likely the case with whales involved — and decided it was time to rush in and champion their own crackpot cause célèbre.

Fortunately, people kept their heads and remembered that there was a reason why we don't capitulate to the demands of the blow-hole mafia:

Every time we take in illegal #lolphins like this, some other displaced sealife in a war torn ocean has to wait #queuejumpingoceanshoppersless than a minute ago via web Favorite Retweet Reply

While others offered some sound suggestions on how to keep unruly Delphinidae gangs from causing this sort of upset in the future:

Clearly, #lolphins not respecting the exclusion zone around #HMASAdelaide is a failure of former NSW ALP Govt education. #nswpolless than a minute ago via web Favorite Retweet Reply

And we can take comfort in the fact that they eventually proceeded with the demolition. I am thankful that during this crisis, there were at least a few officials who saw through the staged tears and political theatre to recognize what was really going on:

#HMASAdelaide Bloody dolphins. The Japanese were right. They are criminal gangs of the sea and need to be punished....less than a minute ago via web Favorite Retweet Reply

I couldn't agree more.


Anonymous said...

I thought Adelaide had sunk a long time ago. But I don't go to South Australia much.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I was there on the beach with the lovely Aunty Lila. She was calling the whales from Sunday to Wednesday morning, which was the scuttling day.

Apparently the dolphins come first, then the whales. The dolphins also came on Monday in massive numbers.

It was actually llegal for the boat to chase them away. Some Gov. fool obviously got hot under the collar about the delay, some of the helicopters had to refuel (sacre bleu!) and the word came down from above...

Racist Wallaby said...

Well, it's understandable that the government had to take decisive action.

After all, if you let a few Dolphins mucking about to get in the way of something like this, the next thing you know you've got Bandicoots protesting the timber companies and a co-ordinated Platypus action stuffing up the latest mining project!

Where would it end?