JUST RUMOURS

For the LAST TIME, I am NOT involved with any sort of Wallaby Supremacist Movement. #vicious #rumoursless than a minute ago via HootSuiteRacist Wallaby
RacistWallaby

A word to the wise: old photos, no matter how innocent or harmless they seemed at the time, can come back to haunt you at any moment.

Yes, I expressed support for One Wallaby Australia in my youth. No, it was not because of their more extremist policies.

I just thought they had a catchy slogan.

FIFTH COLUMN

That's why compulsory registration is so important! RT @stilgherrian Goddam great white sharks, they're everywhere! I was bitten by one.less than a minute ago via webRacist Wallaby
RacistWallaby

I'm just saying they should register. Is that so unreasonable? That way, should the need arise—and I’m not saying that it’s an urgent need that must be acted on this instant—the government will be able to locate them. Not for any nefarious purpose, mind, just so they could be rounded up and put into camps for their own protection.

KEEP AUSTRALIA TIDY

Removing these washing regulations is the 1st step to make our neighbourhoods look like Dugong slums: http://ow.ly/2cw6Zless than a minute ago via HootSuiteRacist Wallaby
RacistWallaby

The funny thing about Dugongs is, as @paddybts mentioned, their rumoured proficiency with washing. It's complete rubbish.

It's these sorts of ridiculously racist stereotypes that hold us back as a nation.

TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD

If I had $1 for every time a self-righteous Finch lectured me about something, @ernmalleyscat, I'd be crapping in a SOLID GOLD TOILETless than a minute ago via HootSuiteRacist Wallaby
RacistWallaby

It's been 50 years since To Kill a Mockingbird was published? Big deal. I'll give credit to Harper Lee for giving Atticus Finch an appropriate name, but otherwise that book was rubbish.

Atticus Wallaby? That's a courtroom drama I'd read. But a holier-than-thou Finch giving me a lecture on morality? No thank you.

ZULUVELA

A friend of mine was arrested at the world cup for stealing a joke about blowing a Zulu's vulva. Bloody Emu plagairists.less than a minute ago via HootSuiteRacist Wallaby
RacistWallaby

A lot of people seem to be taking this the wrong way. I'm not trying to be obscene, I'm pointing out that one joke keeps getting stolen, and I'm sick of it. It's this sort of shameful disregard for attribution and intellectual property that gives Emus their (deservedly) bad name.

SHUFFLES FOR PM

#FF Look, when @mistershuffles becomes Prime Minister, I think we will all agree that racism in this country is over.less than a minute ago via HootSuiteRacist Wallaby
RacistWallaby

Shuffles for PM! That’s my opinion, if you were wondering.

Incidentally, I am shocked and disappointed to hear the rumours that I am only endorsing @MisterShuffles because my position as foreign minister in his cabinet would give me sweeping powers to crack down on Gibbons and other undesirables.

So shocked, in fact, that I shall decline to address them.

A SAD DAY FOR WALLABONERS

Just saw this news about the July issue of Ralph. Crikey, Clare Werbeloff gives me a Wallaboner! http://ow.ly/27Hwgless than a minute ago via HootSuiteRacist Wallaby
RacistWallaby

If loving Clare Werbeloff is wrong, I will never, ever be right.

IT'S HELL BEING MEL

#FF: Done watching Lethal Weapon 2. I wonder if @angrytrvlgurl can help me plan a holiday trip to South Africa? #ILove #MelGibsonless than a minute ago via HootSuiteRacist Wallaby
RacistWallaby

Mel Gibson has such dramatic range! And that voice! I think I could just listen to him talk about anything, for hours at a time.