Friday, May 27, 2011


On Thursday, 19 May, a Wallaby abroad in Lyme Regis, UK, was detained without due process.

On the heels of this shocking rights violation, a Wallaby in Denham Springs, Louisiana, was arrested without a warrant the following weekend.

Neither has been granted access to legal counsel, and both are being held under conditions that I can only assume are in direct violation of the Geneva Convention. I've already alerted Amnesty International about the situation.

In the meantime, in the absence of direction from the foreign minister, I shall be travelling to the U.K. and the United States to demand the release of these political detainees. My boss has only given me a week's time off from work (leave it to a Kookaburra to be completely unresponsive to a pair of international incidents), so it'll have to be a whirlwind tour.

I don't expect this to be easy, especially given the Americans' love of "enhanced interrogation techniques" and terrible track record with minorities in custody, but "the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good Wallabies to do nothing"!

I'll be giving you regular status updates here.


ernmalleyscat said...

Catspeed you Racist Wallaby.

paddybts said...

I've been meaning to ask RW. Are you actually flying around on your "mission of mercy" with those nasty red kangaroos?

Mimi said...

I would suggest getting PETA involved. However I fear they would just mistake the Wallabies for Justice League as fur coats and toss paint on them. But if you need a media shot of outraged unhinged screamers to draw attention to the cause, they would be your go-to crazy people.